And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
no you cant smoke seaweed
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
