I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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