Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
