It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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