I just made out with a guy for $7.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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