hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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