I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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