what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
