...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
