I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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