man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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