I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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