Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
