for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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