I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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