This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
