can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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