TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
