I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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