Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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