I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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