I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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