so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize