two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
