dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
