ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
