Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
