i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
