Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
