that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
