My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize