Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize