Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
