i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
