Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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