but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
