My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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