i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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