so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize