i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Randomize
