Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
