i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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