He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
