I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
