You're completely useless in the revolution.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Randomize
