STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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