then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
