I think my vagina is haunted
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
