y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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