Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
