So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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