Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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