i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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