Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize