If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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