Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
