she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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