C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
