I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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