u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize