My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
