drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize