Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
