I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize