The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Enjoy the penises
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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