Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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