My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
