HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
home. puking in laundry basket.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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