White coat. Heels.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
