Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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