I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
